The myth of bouncing back

We talk about 'bouncing back' after having a baby as if the goal is to return to who we were before. But what if motherhood isn't something to recover from, but something to grow into?

The pressure to return

From the moment the baby arrives, the clock seems to start. How quickly can you get back to your pre-pregnancy body? When will you feel like yourself again? When are you going back to work? The language is telling: it's all about going back.

But here's what nobody tells you: the person you were before doesn't exist anymore. Matrescence (the developmental process of becoming a mother) changes you at every level. Neurologically, hormonally, psychologically. Your brain literally rewires itself. Your priorities shift. Your capacity for love expands in ways you couldn't have imagined, and so does your capacity for fear, for overwhelm, for rage.

The goal isn't to go back. The goal is to find your way forward, as the person you're becoming.

What if we honoured the transition?

In many cultures, the postpartum period is treated as sacred. The new mother is held, fed, supported. She is given time to rest and bond. She is not expected to perform or produce. She is allowed to be transformed.

In our culture, we celebrate the birth and then expect the mother to get on with it. To bounce back. To be fine. To multitask her way through the most profound identity shift of her life.

A different kind of support

What I offer in my coaching isn't a bounce-back programme. It's a space where you can be honest about what's actually happening. Where the messy, the overwhelming, and the beautiful can coexist. Where you can reconnect with your body, not to make it look a certain way, but to feel at home in it again.

Because the body always knows. And right now, yours might be telling you that it needs something different than what the world expects.